Fraction 1: Everyone's a critic

n. a part of a whole, not 100%

Hello, sudden influx of new people. Welcome to my newsletter. I’m currently in Edinburgh putting on a musical, but I thought I’d pop by and say hi so you don’t forget why you signed up in the first place. In all likelihood it’s Luke Leighfield’s fault, as is the musical.

Sometimes we play a game, my brain and me. I say ‘we’ but really it’s their game, one they invented when I was around 9. We’ve played it every day since then.

The game is called You’re not good enough at any of the things you like to do.

It goes like this:

  • I start doing something and get super stoked about it. Examples: LEGO, hockey, musical theatre, skiing, running, poetry, public speaking.

  • It becomes A Thing I Do, and people know me as a Person Who Does This Thing.

  • My brain tells me I’m not good enough at the thing, not any good at all really, and everyone knows I’m not any good and I should care they know.

  • I stop doing the thing.

I used to lose at this game all the time. Now, I totally kick ass. No one plays You’re not good enough at any of the things you like to do better than me. My brain?

I ruin the little shit.

I don’t need to explain to you why you can’t let your brain win this game, or why it’s important to keep doing things at which you’re not instantly good. There are literally TED talks about this. (I assume.) Everything is a draft, etc.

That said, most of my friends struggle with the concept of being enough. Of doing enough. Of loving enough, trying enough. Accomplishing enough.

And this is just to say, fuck that. Whatever you did at any given time is what you could do at that given time. It was enough.

And you’re enough. You are always, exactly, enough.

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